#550 Two Seconds

Well, it’s here.
The two-second commercial
Much ballyhooed in the industry. Much skepticized by potential advertisers.
Clear Channel, the giant radio/billboard conglomerate, is offering the two-second commercial. That’s right, two seconds—no product claims, no catchy jingles, no positioning, just two seconds.
One of the first ones is this: “Iced coffee at McDonalds.” Short and sweet.
No, that’s iced mocha at McDonalds.
Anyhow, they are meant to be inserted between songs, in space formerly reserved for pure programming. There’s something guaranteed to please commercial-weary listeners.
I predict they won’t catch on. Why? Because “Bob’s Doorknobs” will never make it with two-second commercials if “McClatchy Door Latches” is there first.
Commercials are about defining your business in relation to your competition—getting out your unique message, and most importantly, announcing to the world that you’re not only in business, but doing a specific type of business that your potential customer wants to hear about.
Can’t do that in two-seconds. Even with one of those fast-talking ginsu knife guys.
What you can do in two seconds is trade on the reputation you’ve built in the past with a lot of 30 and 60 second commercials. Frequency builds response, as they say, or repetition builds reputation.
The fact that McDonalds has been hamburgering home their message for the last six decades makes it possible for them to merely suggest iced coffee next to their name and be successful.
Bob’s Doorknobs has to take the long road for the next fifty years, achieve national fame, have a franchise on every corner, and possibly construct a play area in his shops with little carton renditions of Doorknob-themed characters.
Mister Knobby and Uncle Unhinged. Sheriff Strikeplate and Slim Jimmy the evil lockpicker. Then Ol’ Doorknob Bob needs to think up a catchy music signature, make sure all his buildings feature the golden doorknobs, and have a doorknob clown with a house for kids recovering from serious illnesses.
Then, and only then, can Bob’s Doorknobs afford to buy a two-second commercial without wasting every cent he spends on it.
And that’s the long and short of it.
America ya gotta love it