#426 Big Chat

So yesterday, I ordered something on line. It seems like in the old days when you would ordered something over the phone, things happened fairly quickly. Then they cut back on labor and the phonetree choice menu things developed and you found yourself spending a lot of time punching numbers for options, many times hitting the wrong number and ending up in phone tree limbo. All that space in phone tree limbo, all that time and emptiness? That’s what they used for the internet. Then they perfected that a little. Now when you receive a bankcard in the mail and want to activate it you can actually phone in and do so with little or no human intervention. Of course, it involves punching in a lot of numbers again, like your social security and your address and your home phone and etc. But still, except at that part at the end when they say they are activating and you have to listen to that long phone message about the other products that are available from your fine bankcard company like, say, insurance for the unpaid balance on your card, it’s not too bad. One time I hung up during that message, and guess what? My card got activated anyhow. Funny, I’ve never balked at punching in my social security number over the phone but when Comcast asked for it in a chatroom, I felt a little apprehensive. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Here’s what happened. I decide I wanted to sign up for a Comcast service. I fill out a questionnaire over various online pages, and finally get to the end when a screen comes on telling me my order will be finalized in a live chat with a Comcast representative. And I must say this is where it got bizarre. If I were talking to a live rep all my questions could have been answered quickly. Instead I had to act like I was in a teenage chatroom and type in all my communications. So even though Chat was less efficient, when you answered something you had it nailed down in print. The efficiency for Comcast was at the two delay points, waiting for my new number and waiting for my scheduling date. And during those two delays I could tell my chatroom partner was at another chat. You know. You can just tell. She comes back with her words in disarray and her emoticons a little disheveled. But the weirdest thing was when we came to a big contractual commitment section and she said after the chat she would send me an important confirmation email. It was formal, serious and contractual and she said after our chat. Hmm. Chat used to mean light and casual. I’m having a chat with a young lady. Lawyers don’t chat in the courtroom. Doctors don’t chat when they get you to sign the malpractice release. Homeland security doesn’t chat. Couldn’t they call it a discussion page or an order room? Chat just seems so, well, frivolous. Bundy, your execution is in 3 hours. Tell us your request for your last meal. Then we can chat...
America, ya gotta love it.