#312 Winners and Whiners

There’s an old saying about the squeaky wheel being the one that gets oiled. Perhaps that’s why the legal system has evolved the way it has in this great country of ours. Those wheels that can’t bring themselves to squeak find someone who can. Of course, the losers in the legal system always bitch loudest about it being broken. My squeak didn’t work in court therefore I’ll try to win in the court of public opinion by squeaking about the courts and lawyers and all those slimy people who don’t think the way I do. Now take the word whiner. Drop an H for hundreds to hire a lawyer, add an N for “nice move counselor,” and you got Winner. Spelling is fun. Since the only thing that separates whiner from winner is a couple of letters it’s no wonder we have so many whiners in the courts. But I confess, even as jaded as I am about the flip-flops people will do, I was unprepared for the next story. Seems that some, probably overzealous, liberal organization was suing a certain talk show host for overstepping his broadcasting bounds. The admittedly conservative talk show host in question—and by conservative he means independent—came out against a particular ballot issue. And he used his broadcasting position to loudly and often criticize and lambaste the measure in question. Now the key to the legal issue is this. As long as the idea was just an idea, he could spit venom till his lips were blue. Grease it up one side and burn it off the other. Draw it, quarter it, and feed it to the mongrels. But as soon as the measure was on the ballot, different rules came into play. Equal time. Candidate A has to be afforded the same opportunity as candidate B and Pro-measure A has to be afforded the same opportunity as Anti-measure A. The lawsuit contended that the un-rebutted talk show host’s commentary amounted to an in-kind political contribution to the campaign against the measure. And should have been reported. And having not been reported, the talk show host in question, butted or otherwise, should pay through the nose he was sticking where it didn’t belong. The talk show host contended that no, his was simply an example of free speech, protected by our great constitution. And here is the irony so potent I almost got heavy metal poisoning: The talk show host was joined in his defense by a powerful national organization. One he welcomed because it has the legal money, muscle, and clout to turn a lot of cases in its favor. The American Civil Liberties Union. That’s right, the ACLU. The same ACLU feared and reviled by conservatives as a bunch of pinko commie shysters, bent on turning our constitution against us. The same ACLU the talk show host in question had tiraded against on countless occasions. Funny thing, if you take the word fiend and add an R for Respect the rights of others, you get Friend.
America, ya gotta love it.