#89 Oregon Donor

I heard this story about World War II. It happened in Oregon. The Japanese sent a bunch of incendiary balloons up and some of them landed on the beach in Oregon. Pretty rough stuff. Um, Japanese Intelligence must have been pretty good back then. I mean, what were they intending to do? Oregon has no tactical military targets whatsoever. Were the Japanese trying to cripple our wartime myrtlewood industry? Or wipe out Tillamook cheese capacity. What an evil, evil psychological campaign. Deprive our brave boys of the finest cheese in the Pacific Rim. And judging by the campaigns success, I’m betting the Japanese War planners were a little chagrinned that they’d caved into to the propane balloon lobby and sent their nuclear physicists packing.
Also in Oregon around that time, a US Navy ship accidentally launched a missile or a mortar round in the direction of shore and wiped out a bowling alley. Naturally, everybody was quite upset when the bowling alley was destroyed by an attempted missile strike. But they were even more upset when the Navy tried to pick up the spare.
I was thinking of Oregon the other day. Seems the Austin Cooper Company has come up with an interesting version of their popular Mini. It comes customized to look a little like a dragster/funny car. For a while the Austin Cooper Company was thinking of calling it the “Funny-Mini” or the “Mini-Funny.” But then some wag decided that to make the accessory package look more complete, they’d add parachutes to the back end just like a real dragster. Then some other marketing wag, noting the parachutes, thought it would be a good idea to call the car the “D.B. Cooper.” That, my friend, is marketing.
D.B. may have survived if he’d landed in any state other than Oregon. Oregon seems to attract misfortune. Can you say Paul Allen’s Trail Blazers? And yet Oregonians are always so arrogant to us Washingtonians. It goes way back. One of our original settlers in Washington, George Washington Bush, was a Free Black Man back in the days of the Oregon Territory. He and Michael T. Simmons headed North to Olympia because the Oregonians threatened to take George, confiscate all his belongings, and tie him to a post and whip him if he didn’t clear out within 24 hours. Fortunately for the future Washington State, when he got here, he put together the best-producing farm in the area and fed countless settlers who were, both figuratively and literally, at trails end. George helped them get on their feet, get settled and make Washington the great place it is today. So, personally, I don’t know why when they use our roads to come up and shop in our great and diverse metropolitan areas, and visit our stunning scenery, that Oregonians don’t have to donate the sales tax that supports the infrastructure from which they are benefiting. When we go down there, we have to donate an extra non-resident surcharge to stay in their state parks. So fair is fair, if they can figure out a way to come here without using our roads then they can shop tax free all they like. Otherwise, our tax coffers should benefit from Oregon Donors too.
America, ya gotta love it.