#87 Continuing Ed-Vacation

It’s summertime. Time for the American horde to go on its annual vacation rampage as six flags of peace and profit are raised at amusement nations across the country. Time to fire up the RVs, fifth-wheelers, and reconverted busses, pile in the jet-skis, ATV’s and mountain bikes, strap on the kayaks, dinghies and surfboards and strap on a Thule pod or two full of extra changes of underwear. America’s on the move and we’re taking our crap with us.
Of course, you all know that the chief reason for an RV that costs more than a house is because with an RV you can take your own toilet with you wherever you go. No more dark motel bathrooms with purposely anemic lighting to blind you to the encrusted filth in the corners, no more cockroaches skittering across the floor in counterpoint while you’re performing Beethoven’s most common movement, no more raspy toilet paper chafing your nether regions, tenderized by multiple miles of marathon sitting. You’ve got your own toilet in your own RV, dammit.
Funny thing, it doesn’t matter when I manage to squeeze out that paltry week or two of my vacation, wherever I go I always seem to run into at least one of my kid’s teachers. It’s like they have the whole summer off or something. Oh yeah.
So, I ask you, why do teachers have planning days? Why not plan your school year during the two and a half months you have off during the summer? Kids have too many breaks during the school year as it is. And it’s screwing up education. I say add those 9 planning days onto the summer break, skip the new extra winter break, have two weeks at Christmas and one week at Easter and have full days every other day for the rest of the year. For one good reason; so the freaking kids can settle into a routine of study and not have to be interrupted every third Tuesday by a day off, or a half-day off, or a SIP, or a TIP, or whatever. Studies have shown that kids spend the first month of every school year catching up on what they forgot from the last month of the last school year. Partly because during the last month they didn’t do anything except daydream about summer and partly because a lot of their teachers skipped out early themselves to beat the crowds at the resorts and the substitute squad came in to show films and slides of their trips to Death Valley. Studies also show that smaller interruptions or vacations reflect the same anticipation/need-for-review cycle. So before every little break, you have kids anticipating the time off and daydreaming, and after every break you have catch-up time to pick up where you left off. Say you have a day off on Wednesday. Monday’s shot because it’s review of last Friday. Tuesday’s shot because of anticipation of Wednesday being off. Wednesday’s off. Thursday’s shot because of review of Tuesday and Friday’s shot because of anticipation of being off the weekend. Is this any way to educate? So tell me, how many months did it take to think up this plan?
America, ya gotta love it.