#88 Snoose-Chewing Smoothie

So from time to time I go to radio remotes. That’s when a radio station sets up at a remote location and broadcasts from it. Usually, it’s a business that’s trying to get out the word on a new opening or a remodeling or a new product or something. Sometimes the remote is from a community festival. I like the excitement. It’s pretty fun to see what is being featured that week, new businesses that I’m curious about have usually put out the red carpet, and there’s lots of giveaways and freebies (I’m not sure what the difference between a giveaway and a freebie is, but I think it might be that one of them is easier to fling)
So I was at one recently and I chanced to overhear a couple of the employees of the establishment that was sponsoring the remote talking between themselves. One of them said: “Man this is the busiest I’ve ever seen this place.” The other one said: “Yeah I was skeptical about this thing. The last time we had a remote here it was put on by that defunct country station and all we had show up were 6 snoose-chewing rednecks, and all they did was order smoothies and left.
And it got me thinking. What flavor of smoothie goes best with chaw? "Hey pilgrim, hows about you shake me up one of them Copenhagen smoothies?"
Cause I’m thinking raspberry or guava are not your typical chaw-compatible tastes. Of course that’s assuming anyone with a cheekful of cud can taste anything anyhow. That reminds me... I was real young when I heard my first Skoal commercial. And I really didn’t grasp the concept of chewing tobacco. The only tobacco I’d ever tasted had been when I was four years old, and expecting one of my uncle’s camels to be like the candy cigarettes we all ate, I was really, horribly, surprised by the taste when I bit into it. To complicate things for my young mind, my mom always referred to the human buttocks as cheeks. So when I heard the phrase “just a pinch between your cheek and gums” naturally I assumed chaw was some sort of round clip or clothespin or something, maybe meant to help you grow an inch. Hey I was a kid.
And it didn’t help that some people call chewing tobacco chaw or cud or twist or plug or dip and others call it snuff or snoose, even though they never put it in their nose. Near as I can tell, a wad is a wad is a wad. Smelly, gross, and pretty ugly in an open trashcan.
But what I really wonder is: Used to be that another name for a lounge lizard, a gigolo and a “ladies man” was a smoothie. As in the phrase, she was escorted by a Broadway smoothie. When did a lounge lizard become a popular drink? Yes, I’ll have your lime lothario please, no, make that a lingonberry lecher. And, if you don’t mind, could you blend in the fluid from this spittoon?
America, ya gotta love it.