Thursday, January 27, 2011

1419 Vision HD

Technology sure improves life.
Like recently when the power went out. I’m groping in the dark for a candle and I accidentally bump my cellphone. Which of course lights up. What a fantastic invention, my old brain says, while my modern consciousness quickly flashes through all the stories I’ve heard of people holding up cellphones instead of lighters at rock concerts.
Still, there it is, a convenient tool when my power goes out, and one that helped me go to the bathroom without the danger of searing wax drippings on any vulnerable bits of flesh. Hot wax treatments have their place, but not in the dark in the bathroom.
Cellphone assisted urination. There’s an app for that.
Or take this modern example of cultural pile-on. Seems like once a concept catches on, every business wants a piece of it. Currently it’s the concept “HD” that’s getting a lot of play. I wrote an essay not long ago that mentioned a national paint company that now has a line of HD paints.
Lord knows you don’t want your house to look pixilated.
But the capper was the other day. I was getting new contact lenses at Costco and the optician said I ordered just in the nick of time. Next month my type of lens would most likely cost more as they were changing the name—from Pure-Vision to Pure-Vision HD.
Wow, what a concept. High Definition vision from a corrective lens. I love technology. Luckily for me I was able to buy a 2-year supply. So I won’t have to get new ones until they come out with the next modern craze, Pure-Vision HD 3D.
I so can’t wait until I can see the real world in 3D.
It’ll come in handy in the bathroom.
America, ya gotta love it.

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