Monday, October 26, 2009

#1118 Ah-moon

Not long ago NASA fired a missile at the moon. They were going to run a spectral analysis of the debris ejected and determine if there was any water in it, and, oh yeah, put the fear of god into Iran.
That last part wasn’t its stated mission but you got to wonder. A couple of weeks before the moon shot, Iran had been flexing its missile muscles by firing off some that had the range to make it all the way to Israel, a daunting distance of about 1250 miles.
Scary. They have a missile that can go 1250 miles. We have one that can go 240,000 miles. I think we may have shown them who has a bigger, um, stick.
Because not only that, but we managed to fire the missile right where we wanted to, you know, not blow off any attractive ridges or craters or whatever.
Think it’s possible Ahmadinejad is an Iranian word that means “oops, I screwed up.”
Speaking of which, the recent news story about Ahmadinejad’s origins is certainly a grandfather’s nightmare come true. Turns out that the single biggest and most powerful spokesman for holocaust denial is, surprise surprise, of Jewish blood.
I have an uncle who is that way. Try as I might I can’t shake him from his entrenched bigotry. It’s one of those things he was raised with and never shook. But recently, in the course of genealogical research, it was revealed that he is part Jewish.
By extension so am I. 1/16th Jewish to be exact. Which actually satisfies my tendency towards being economical. At 1/16th Jewish, I only have to burn half a candle at Hanukkah. Plus I don’t have to buy a whole menorah. One candlestick will do just fine.
But I’m guessing Ahmadinejad was not as happy to find out about his Jewish heritage as I was. Actually, since it was his Jewish parents who converted to Islam, he no doubt knew already. He’s not happy that now the world does too. Combined with the NASA missile thing, he’s been caught with his pants down from two directions.
Now that he’s been exposed and, um, em-bare-assed, maybe the world should call him Ah-moon-dinejad...
America, ya gotta love it.

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