Thursday, October 08, 2009

#1106 Health Clutter

So the other day I’m clearing off my desk and I see this magazine with a couple of sticky notes sticking out of it. The date on the cover says it’s from October of 2007.
Sticky notes sticking out of a magazine mean I thought something was interesting in it to use in a commentary. What was a surprise was I had the thing sitting on my desk for 2 years.
And what really surprised me was it hadn’t biodegraded by now.
So I looked inside to see what was so interesting 2 years ago that I thought it merited sticky notes. Turns out is was health news. So it could easily be wrong by now.
If there’s one thing you can say, it’s that health fashions are cyclical.
The first sticky note marked a story that offered health advice about longevity. Recent—as of 2007—research indicated that eating dark chocolate and sipping red wine is good for your heart.
All of a sudden I was in the Woody Allen movie Sleeper, where this guy who once owned a macro-biotic health food store wakes up in the future and the scientifically-determined healthiest foods are steak, wine, and chocolate cake.
Apparently, that future is now. Just make sure it’s dark chocolate cake when you embrace these facts to shore up your already established belief that you like cake. And bonus, the wine improves not only your heart but your cognition.
Which ties into the other sticky note, which marked a story that said Alzheimer’s can be postponed if you’re persnickety. That’s like if you were part of an odd couple friendship, and you were the Felix one. The neatnick, the detail guy, the duster of every doily and the launderer of every antimacassar.
If you even have antimacassars, you will not go goofy so quickly. This research, by the way, was proved by a study of nuns, the white rats of psychological science.
Turns out the fastidious use the section of their brains that is involved in decision-making and planning. And apparently, neatness. As with muscles, the more you use your brain the better shape it stays in.
I’m guessing I should clean my desk more often.
America, ya gotta love it.

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