Thursday, September 10, 2009

#1092 License to Dumb

So the other day I was feeling kind of dumb. You know how sometimes you do something unconsciously and then two seconds later you go, “Now why the heck did I just do something so dumb?”
I was writing about how some birds had flown in from the offshore islands. And then I thought, “That’s dumb. Aren’t all islands off shore?” I mean really. They’re islands.
And if you say to me, but wait, they’re probably talking about the islands that are directly next to the mainland, then I would counter: “Consider this Kwai Chang, do not islands themselves have shores?”
Maybe that’s why I was confused when moments later I opened a letter from the Department of Licensing in which I was offered the choice to renew my license online, in person, or by mail. I was still trying to decide whether I should choose one of the options, or opt for one of the choices, when two days later another letter came in the mail offering me the same alternatives and this time included a return envelope.
So that’s the way I did it. Not having to hunt up an envelope swung me. But here’s the dumb thing. Security-wise, going in person was the best choice. But I so wanted to avoid the hassle of the DMV, I accepted the risk of losing my license in the mail and having my identity stolen.
But isn’t it strange we are being offered this alternative in the first place? Many states are now requiring you to not just come in, but pose in a particular way when you get your renewal. They don’t even let you smile, so your face will look more like a mugshot and make it easier for their face recognition software.
But here we are in Washington State, sending licenses through the mail, using pictures that are at least 5 years old. My old license picture was taken in 2005. My new license with my old picture won’t expire until 2014. A lot can happen to your looks in 10 years. Just ask any ex-president.
I hope my identity thief looks as dumb as me.
America, ya gotta love it.

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