Thursday, June 21, 2007

#541 Tiers of Pain

I’m about to break a solemn vow.
I promised myself I would never write about a certain person whose sole claim to fame is that she’s famous. She has little or no talent, was in a salacious video, and was born into money.
From that point, she has been a self-indulgent brat, flouting the law at every turn, and laughing up her fashionable sleeve that she gets away with it because she can always buy or fame her way out.
I won’t stoop to mention her name, but think a city and a hotel. I’ve always wondered if she has a sister named Vienna and a brother named Bucharest.
Recently the law finally caught up with her. Yes boys and girls, in the two-tiered legal system we call America, where a black man or a poor white guy can do hard time for driving while intoxicated—repeatedly—this woman was finally lightly incarcerated.
Now think for a moment. If this famous woman or a poor person had run over a child while intoxicated, the child wouldn’t be any less dead in either case.
But apparently the drunkenness of a spoiled rich person is less worthy of a penalty. She got off with probation the first time and was finally jailed the second time for drunkenly violating her probation.
But before she actually served any part of her incredibly harsh and dehumanizing 45 day sentence she was given time off for good behavior for, um, showing up at the jail.
Then after 4 days, she was released to house arrest with one of those ankle bracelet thingies.
Medical reasons.
Apparently she was feeling bad.
And, you know, you can’t punish someone when they’re feeling sick. It’s so mean.
Please. This is a bar-crawling party animal. She feels sick after a few days of relatively tame jail regimen?
Spokespersons leaked that she had a rash. Probably from the prison shower soap. It’s so harsh. Maybe isn’t even hypoallergenic. Probably doesn’t contain one emollient.
Others say it was the food. Prison food is hell on bulimics. It’s not even good enough to puke up afterwards.
Exactly what I feel like doing every time I hear how this woman gets special treatment.
A frustrated judge agreed. She’s back in jail.
America, ya gotta love it

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