#489 Singlehood Challenged

One of the peskiest things about getting a divorce is the labels. The recently divorced suffer from a scarcity of such. When it comes to words here in America, the operating principle is, when in doubt go to the French. So the most popular term for the recently-divorced is divorcée. This is spelled and looks like divorcee, but is pronounced with a different frenchified vowel tone at the end. There’s also the pre-divorce term, estranged. Which for some reason always sounds like a stalker of some sort. She was pursued by an estranged husband.
There is at least a plethora of terms of endearment. Even though none of them quite hit on the mark. And until you get to the actual spousal terms of permanence, society doesn’t want to invest too much in temporary states of romantic being. If you are only starting to fall in love with someone, you lose all the variety of words of bachelorhood on one end and marriage on the other and verbally slide on the slippery slope of relationships.
So what do call your new friend? Boyfriend? Girlfriend? How junior high school. Flame? Can we possibly sound any more volatile and temporary? Inamorata? Descriptive, if you want to go around sounding all foreign and hoity-toity. My guy? My girl? As in, “I guess, you’d say, what would make me feel this way? My girl.” Great song but really, sounds a little possessive. My house, my car, my girl. I think I’ll keep her. How about lover? Well that kind of fits into the social category of T-M-I-. Too Much Information. It probably wouldn’t always be a good way to introduce your flame. Yes Parson Brown, what’s your missionary position on calling my girlfriend “Lover?” Significant other? A relationship between psychologists or accountants. Partner? Effective, but unfortunately too businesslike. So once again we turn to the French. Beau and Belle. He’s my Beau. She’s my Belle. I like Beau, sounds tough and rugged and French African foreign legion. Or like the thing that’s shoots cupid’s arrows. My Belle? Sounds like the new AT&T. They were single once too. Or was that Cingular?
America, ya gotta love it