2371 Merry Christmas Tree

I know you've heard about the War on Christmas, that rallying cry about the loss of traditional values in the holiday season.

I'm worried about the war on Thanksgiving. When Thanksgiving Thursday was eaten by Black Friday. Kind of like the Grinch that stole Christmas, except it stole Thanksgiving instead. 

Seriously, family time is pretty limited in this around-the-clock working-two-jobs kind of world we live in. Is it a good idea to take one of the few traditional family time holidays left and truncate it so some parts of the family have to run off and shop and other parts of the family have to run off and work the retail stores to wait on them? 

"Yeah, we had great family time on Black Thursday. I bought a 50% off doodad from Uncle Frank. Man what a jokester he is. He asked me which half I wanted off, the doo or the dad."

And forget about the War on Thanksgiving. And the War on Christmas. How about the War on Christmas Trees? I thought about that recently when I saw an ad for Scentsicles. 

Scentsicles are pungent little ornaments you hang on your artificial tree that smell like real trees. So when you set up the environmentally safe artificial tree, it can now smell like you hacked down and butchered a real one.

And hacked down is right, the War on Christmas Trees this time of year takes thousands of good carbon eating trees out of the wild woods. I'm not talking about responsible and the beneficial managed Christmas tree farms. 

Hey, if the President can pardon a Thanksgiving turkey, why can't he pardon the White House Christmas tree? Let's leave it in the woods, capturing carbon for all, for a happy new year.   

America, ya gotta love it.