1999 Tools of the Tirade

I'm always impressed by the extremes we go to creating new and different things in our culture. Perhaps that is our culture, the drive to do something different.
Like the commercial I saw the other day. It was for Ryobi. They make power tools. At least 50 different ones according to the ad. And they can all be powered by one of those snap-on rechargeable batteries.
The ad I saw looked very impressive, a guy going around snapping his battery into a small hedge trimmer, a power drill, a reciprocating saw, and a dustbuster.
Call me skeptical, but I've never got that much power out of one battery. So when I heard their tagline I was a little suspicious. "Ryobi Tools, over 50 tools powered by one 18-volt battery."
Wouldn't work for me. I keep using a tool till the battery's done. "Oops, guess I did enough hedge trimming. The battery's run out. Now I'll just switch my dead battery to my 49 other tools and not be able to use them either."
But it isn't just tools where we're extreme. Or maybe it is. With the tools in Hollywood and their new movies. Like one that got my attention, "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters." It's a different take on an old theme. Part of the new extreme fairytale remake fad. Like "Jack the Giant Slayer" about Jack in the Beanstalk and the new Red Riding Hood. Red Riding Hood's wolf is a werewolf, naturally. It is the Twilight era.
Personally, I'm waiting for a screen adaptation of Billy Goat Gruff. Maybe with a were-billy-goat to make it extra spooky. Then again, a really plum choice for a movie would be that guy in the corner.
Little Jack Horner and the Life of Pie…
America, ya gotta love it.