1588 Clothes Captioned

I got a catalog in the mail the other day and it got me thinking about fashion. It was a Land's End Catalog. Lands End made their reputation on basic classics. But that's a challenge in the fashion industry, as the words fashion and classic are basically antithetical. Fashion is at the more profitable end of the spectrum, as it turns over often and you can get repeat sales with more items.
Lands End is trying not to end from lack of profit, which probably explains why the catalog in question had so few pages dedicated to men and children. Of the 64-page catalog, 6 pages were captioned "Men" and 4 pages were captioned "Children." 54 pages were captioned "Women."
Clothes Captioned, I get it.
But you think about certain fashion styles and you wonder. Like those new jeans women wear that appear to have elaborate rhinestone patterns on the back pockets. Is this a conspiracy between the jean makers and the couch manufacturers? To force people to buy new couches when their old ones are destroyed by the jeans?
"I'm so sorry Brittany; I seem to have shredded your davenport with my rhinestone butt."
You see certain classic styles and you wonder too. Like elbow patches on corduroy jackets. What do you do to wear out elbows? I've tried sitting at a desk in a manner to cause that and I can't. My elbows are always way off the desk or table surface. Forearms maybe, but you never see a coat with forearm patches.
The closest I can come is if I hold both elbows on the table and my head in my hands. Are corduroy jacket wearers always in such a position of despair?
"I'm so depressed, my jacket has dorky looking useless patches..."
America, ya gotta love it.