1496 Pro Mascots

Is it just me or do sports figures recently have a lot of names that sound, well, odd. Like their parents ran out of ideas. Or like they're mascots rather than players.
Like Chad Ochocinco. What's that about? Ocho means eight and cinco means five. My first thought was, was the child named after a personalized license plate? Chad 85. Or was part of a series of chads. Maybe his parents were really upset about the Bush/Gore election and one of their votes didn't get counted because it had a dangling Chad. Number 85.
But no. True story is Chad himself changed it to reflect the numbers on his Cincinnati Bengals uniform. Let's hope he doesn’t get traded.
And how about Milton Bradley? What were his parents thinking? That they wanted a Monopoly on publicity. That it would help, if not in the game of baseball, in the Game of Life? That life itself was no Candyland, though it could be more fun than a Barrel of Monkeys. And you could develop a really good swing if you kept flexible by playing Twister and a good eye and steady hand if you concentrated on the Operation.
But my favorite guy is Coco Crisp. Now admittedly, the Coco part is a nickname he got from his sister, who actually thought he did look like a cereal character. But still. It sets a precedent. I'm not sure Major League ball wants to see a game with product mascots.
The Arby's Oven Mitt behind the plate. The California Raisins in the sun of the outfield. Count Chocula and the Boo-berries in the infield. And a batting/pitching duel between Coco Crisp and Toucan Sam. Forget about knuckle balls. That Toucan Sam can throw a curve like a Fruit Loop.
America, ya gotta love it.