1486 Simply Saling

The other day I saw a display ad that came up on one of the websites I was visiting, but I didn't click through on it. "Click-through rate" is one of those things they measure on internet ads but I, like most people, am worried some viral thing will happen to me and my computer if I do it.
At the very least they've marked my computer for further attempts to entice.
What caught my eye was the name of the product in the ad—Simply Saline. For years, I've worn contact lenses and for years I've been worried about the multiple chemicals contact lens fluid manufacturers manufacture.
You never know. Mercury, caustics, protein dissolvers, it can't be natural. Back in the old days, when contacts first came out, we used a saline solution we made up ourselves, with simple saline tablets.
Its drawback was human laziness. People would make up a bunch of saline solution and let it sit around. Saline solution also happens to be a great growth medium for all sorts of "natural" organisms that can infect your eye.
You may have noticed a certain batch of saline solution teeming with life—the ocean.
That's why they started putting a bunch of chemicals in contact lens solutions. To kill the bad bugs. Algae eye is so unattractive.
So I went to the Simply Saline website and found a product that does indeed consist of just saline solution. Water and sodium chloride, under pressure in a can. My dreams were fulfilled.
But they couldn't leave well enough alone. They also had "Simply Saline Cold Formula" for your nose. And despite what it's name implied, it wasn't so simple anymore. It contained benzalkonium chloride, glycerin, phenylcarbonal, luffa operculata and Sabadilla.
Let's hope it was simple Sabadilla.
America, ya gotta love it.