1481 Seesawing

Today's commentary is about a delicate subject, and since it appears on a radio broadcast that may be heard by children, I will refrain from being too graphic when I describe it.
It's about what takes place between two people to satisfy certain biological urges. Some would call it the serious work of procreation. Some would call it play. So I'll use a playground euphemism. I'll call it playing on the seesaw or seesawing.
Playing on the seesaw, it turns out, can be dangerous if you are out of shape. In fact, seesaw playing by couch potatoes can be fatal. As one of the great overweight comedians once said, growing up as a larger child, the smaller kids shunned him because with him there were no seesaws, only catapults.
The seesaw I'm talking about could catapult you right into cardiac arrest.
Seesawing infrequently, by those out of shape, is classified as a "unaccustomed strenuous activity." It's like shoveling snow, which can increase the chance of a heart attack by a factor of five. Seesawing can increase your risk by 2.7 times.
But here's the upside. Each additional instance of activity a week reduced that risk by 45%. So it's bad at first, but if you keep it up it gets better.
Where have I heard that before?
Don't just go from the couch to the playground. Think of your partner. Going from seesawing to CPR can be a real letdown.
The trick is to work your way up to the actual seesawing with a little playing beforehand. Before playing gets your heart pumping more gradually. So start early. Do some walking during the week.
"See Fred walking lately?"
"Saw him yesterday. I asked why, and he just smiled and said, 'Walk before play.'"
America, ya gotta love it.