#1117 Food Violence

I’m not entirely sure what I saw yesterday as I drove by the feed store, but I plan to find out. The sign just caught my attention. It said simply “Beet Pulp Pellets”
It was a feed store so I assume beet pulp pellets are animal food, but I thought, what a violent sounding thing. I guess I should have seen it coming. I mean after all, we have the Angry Whopper as one of our current fast food acts of violence.
And for years we’ve had battered chicken. Which to me has always sounded like a domestic poultry relationship gone terribly wrong. But “beet pulp pellets” take you to a new level. Every word in it speaks of violence.
You got “beet” of course. I know, I know, the violent beat, as in beating on somebody, is spelled b-e-a-t- and the beet you eat is spelled b-e-e-t- but still. It sounds like the violent kind of beat and since I’m talking about it in my mind and on the radio, “sounds like” is all we have.
Then you got “pulp.” When you pulp something you’ve whacked on it fairly good. When a cooking instruction in a recipe tells you to pulp an ingredient you darn well better be applying some form of violence to it. And to precede pulp with beet... The phrase “beat to a pulp” comes naturally to mind.
He was beat to a pulp with a sack of beet pulp. You see what I mean.
Then you got pellet. As in pellet gun. Or as in hail pelleting your windshield. Or pelleting the opposing team with hard-boiled eggs and tomatoes.
Pellet as an item, like a pellet of fuel, no problem, pellet as an action, not so peaceful.
There you have it, “beet pulp pellet”—one of the most violent foods on the planet.
Either that or it’s some strange form of horse borscht. So, to solve the mystery, I Googled it. It appears that among other things, beet pulp pellets are used as a horse laxative. Which means my theory is correct.
I have been behind many horses in many parades.
I can envision nothing more potentially and explosively violent than a horse laxative. America, ya gotta love it.