#1108 Walking Pursuits

Walking is a wonderful and underappreciated human function. One could make the case that walking upright is one of those things that truly sets us apart as human.
Of course, if one did so, one would be totally dissing kangaroos and ostriches.
In any event, I do a fair amount of walking. Not least because I get a sense of satisfaction in the process of just going from here to there. So I’m interested in how other people make use of this simple human function.
The other day I’m driving down the road and traffic gets held up for some reason. My brain flashed to some scene I had just seen about India, some sacred cow had got on the road and it was a total cluster.
But no. This traffic tie-up is caused by humans. That sub-class of humans known as jaywalkers to be exact. And like most jaywalkers, they’re not hurrying across the road. They’re taking their time and pointedly going as slow as possible—seeming to enjoy the mess they’re creating.
It must be a pathetic existence when the only control you can exert in your life is to impede traffic.
But humanity balances out. Not long after that, I read an article about a guy out doing good walking, for exercise. But he couldn’t just walk. He was afflicted with that other human trait, the need to do something constructive. So he walked and he used his metal detector.
We’ve all seen the ads about how much fun metal detecting can be, and what great exercise. I’m not really sure about that last claim. I’m not fully convinced there is such a thing as aerobic metal detecting.
Still, if it’s anything like wielding a weed whacker there’s got to be some upper body strength stuff involved.
But this guy will get to exercise his spending muscles. Because he discovered a huge hoard of Anglo-Saxon treasure in an English field.
But what really got me about the article was what the English press called him. They said he was a Metal Detectorist.
Okay...
The guys that invented English called him a metal detectorist.
“Whatcha do for a living, Merl?”
“I’m a metal detectorist.”
“Really, I’m a humor writer-ist myself...”
America, ya gotta love it.