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So I was talking with my good friend Rick the other day. He’s retired and so has lots of free time to observe human behaviors I miss. And he pointed out the interesting differences in motorcyclists. Notably those who ride Harleys and those who ride Vespas.
Although, as Rick observed dryly, one could hardly use the word “ride” to characterize what the Vespa people are doing. If anything, it’s more of a perch. God forbid that a Vespa rider ever straddle their machine and sling their arms up over ape-hanger handle bars.
I’m guessing you won’t be seeing a chopped Vespa anytime soon.
Harley riders ride hogs. What do Vespa riders ride, piglets? The thing is, it must be clear to Vespa riders that they actually look like wussies. Everything about their posture and attitude is completely un-Harley like.
Not least that they don’t appear to be men going through mid-life crises who like to play dress up and deck themselves out like desperados.
You’d never see a Vespa rider, excuse me percher, tricked out in a fringed leather jacket and chaps over blue jeans. I’ve seen Vespa riders wearing skirts for gosh sake. And being ordinary women with nice little pert helmets and prim glasses instead of goggles. Biker Be-atch is not the appellation that springs instantly to mind.
The only thing that seems to transcend biker style divisions is the tattoo. Tatts bridge the gap. 20-something, laptop-in-their-backpack, city-dwelling Vespa perchers and 50-something hog-riding weekend road warriors chasing inadequacy issues, all have embraced the tattoo as a symbol of their uniqueness.
I love it when so many people can engage in the same mode of individual expression.
But the real difference between Vespa perchers and Harley riders is that with their tiny little tinpot motorbikes, the chances of them getting hit and killed by a car are so much greater. No wonder they sit with that clenched up sitting-on-a-lemon paranoid posture. It’s not a perch so much as a pre-flinch. Vespa folks are either a lot more stupid or a lot more brave.
Born to be Wild and Born to be Wussy? Tough call.
America, ya gotta love it.
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26 comments:
One of the pleasures of owning and riding a Vespa is that it brings back some simplicity to ones life. An easy way to get around with out looking like everyone else on the block. I do get teased at work a lot, as most of my co-workers ride Sport Bikes or Harley's. But I really do not care what they think. The thing with mainstream America is the good old saying that "Bigger is Better". Look where that has gotten us. We need to step back and take a look at other countries and see how they live. Our freeways are gridlocked most of the time, gas will not be getting any cheaper and still people are intent on buying some 40K+ SUV gas guzzler to run to the store and back so they feel safe on the road. I have ridden motorcycles for the past 35 years, and have ridden Harleys, liter+ sport bikes, mega crusiers and dirt machines. The Vespa is an Iconic machine born from Italys need to rebuild and provide it's citizens with affordable and reliable transportation after WWII. They have been the heart and soul of many riders first bike, and continue to have a huge cult following. The modern Vespa's can cruise all day at 75+ mph and still get 65+ mpg. Hopefully more Americans will discover there appeal and start to enjoy the feeling that only a Vespa can provide. So start enjoying life, not regretting it.
Brian in SoCal.
If you knew how funny you are, spewing vitriol on subjects you know nothing about, you'd quit before your boss wakes up to realize what a platitudinarian he's got farting in his chair.
What you have wrote here angers me alot, what the he'll does it matter what you ride? Go write a blog about people who travel in small planes and ppl who fly harrier jump jets what's the diffence? Both do the same job. I bet your some smuck who rides a bicycle to work. I thought you were suppose to be funny it's just you cursing what people.
Please there's enough bs going around at the moment don't need you spreading more.
I love clever writing, but fail to find anything fresh or funny in this piece. Certainly none of this writer's tired old stereotypes fit me: I ride a Vespa but I'm a "50-something" female, wear proper riding gear, don't sport any ink, and seldom perch when going 70 on the highway. Harley riders are also far more varied and interesting than this writer seems to realize. I thought "journalists" were supposed to be, if nothing else, observant. The best humor is based on universal truths...or if stereotypes, at least more accurate ones.
Vacuous writing to meet a deadline...Ya Gotta Love It...or not.
The funniest thing about this piece is the fact you sign it with 'funny man on the prowl', which you are obviously not.
I think you are confusing two fundamentally different styles of transport, which, as a previous poster notes, you know nothing about.
I ride my Vespa as an economical, environmentally more friendly, alternative to my car for when I need to make short journeys. A Harley wouldn't provide me any value here, since that is much more about sitting back, and cruising for a long journey.
Call me stupid, I think you're pretty dumb in your nonfounded insulting blogs as well.
Complete Tosser !!!
I'm 6'1 and 225 pounds. (not a little, wussie guy by anyone's standards) I have ridden BMW and Harley Davidson motorcycles for over 40 years. I still own a large motorcycle but I also own several Vespa scooters. They are far easier to maneuver in urban traffic, get 70+ mpg vs 40mpg on the motorcycle. What's not to like. Apparently, you must have some deep-seated sexual issues that you need to come to grips with because whether you ride a 1000 pound motorcycle or a small scooter does not mean squat to me or other long-term bikers that I am acquainted with. Wake up and smell the coffee.
PS: no, I will not be your first follower either.
"Harley Vespa"
Fail.
You Fail !!
So a barely average looking person (that was a compliment) from a really boring place speaks to something he knows nothing about and isn't even remotely funny. You Sir are the tragedy, I feel bad for you actually.
I own 7 Vespa's, 5 motorcycles and 9 cars. Vespa's aren't your thing because they are for intelligent lifeform both from a go green standpoint and a fun factor. Nothing better for zipping around the city, a place you would never make it in. I know some perched up girls in skirts that have over 40K miles on their modern Vespa, you would pee your pants after one freeway on ramp based on your profile picture.
You actually aren't not even funny, you are not even witty, Vespa owners would have a field day taking your inventory dude.
Sorry you have a rough time in high school, don't spend your WHOLE life trying to get even.
Cheerio,
SDG
Hell, what's everyone getting excited about. What did you expect from a radio columnist?
Relax, pretty soon he'll put his hand back in his pocket and walk away pleased with himself...
More like put his hand in his pocket and jerk off at how funny he thinks he is. This is like the rantings of an unnfunnier mormon Dennis Miller.
Fugging Stupid Azz Article. It's quite obvious the writer has a "size" complex issue, We're all quite sorry you not gifted enough to understand
Your entire blog: 1156 posts, 17 comments and 0 followers.
lol, fail, rofl, etc.
An open letter to my upset Vespa rider readers.
I apologize. I had no intent to offend. You are right in saying I’m a bad writer, as I obviously didn’t convey my point, which was to show that despite appearances, Vespa riders are far braver than any other motorcycle riders. I tried to do this by playing with the stereotypes people have of both Harley and Vespa riders, and then concluding with how courageous you were to enter traffic with little or no protection from the idiots in cars who fail to notice you. I have been hit by such idiots when I rode a motorcycle. (At age 16, on a Yamaha 100, if it matters, no offense to Yamaha riders...) The car driver’s obliviousness, and the subsequent road rash and head bumping I sustained must have been partially responsible for my blind spot when it came to how my piece might be misinterpreted. Sometimes irony misses the mark. As you all pointed out, I failed in my attempt at humor. Again, my apologies. I wish you all a great holiday season, and happy riding in the New Year.
Non-anonymous Jerry Farmer
Jerry,
As you probably learned from your run in with a car, car driver just don't see motorcycles. Period. End of story. If you ride, deal with that fact and always watch for the next space case turning left into you. And it doesn't matter if you ride a Harley or a 50 cc scooter, if you get hit and come off the bike at 50 mph, it's gonna hurt. The bigger bike doesn't save your ass.
I rode 600 cc sport bikes for years before I bought a Vespa. I love the simplicity and nimbleness of the scooter. If you want to see radical, macho scooters, go check out some of the modified Honda Ruckus scooters on TotalRuckus. They'll put those Harleys to shame.
Jerry-
you suck donkey jizz. Just quit already, you can't write your way out of a paper bag, and it's sad that you call yourself funny. If you have to state that you're funny, then the chances are that you just aren't.
You probably say you're cool too. Same rule applies.
Wow, a half-assed backpedal apology. A classic move by a hack who has no idea what they are spewing about. If this is what you think is clever or poignant, put in your two weeks notice. In this job you obviously are in over your head.
Dave Barry wannabe! you FAIL!
Honestly this article is all opinionated and heavily biased BS. I ride a scooter myself and love them, in fact I have had many harley riders jealous of my bike and they accept me at harley meets and I keep up just fine on the long rides.
If you want to be a rant, please leave your pollution off the internet and keep your hate rants to yourself.
Wanker!
I just came across your blog on a Vespa site, and I'm suprised at your complete ignorance on the subject of Vespa's and scooter culture. You're stereotypes are not shared by as many as you might think. I've found that the majority of motorcycle enthusiasts appreciate all things 2 wheeled. Vespa's were an astounding feat of engineering for their time and countless motorcycle companies tried to copy what Enrico Piaggio achieved. Even Harley tried their hand at a scooter. So what does that say? I was going to write out a long winded response but it's not really worth the effort. Besides, I think most of the other responses covered what I wanted to convey. Apology not accepted.
Jerry,
And what do you ride these days? Let us all know so we can make fun of you too!
No scooter is a lame ride and no Harley is a lame ride. Neither are any of the bikes in between. The only lame ride I know of is a Pontiac Aztec...which you probably own.
Seriously, I get that you are Jerry Farmer, but where exactly is the "funny guy" part?
A Vespa and BMW guy in Seattle.
http://2strokebuzz.com/2010/01/28/south-park-bikers
Way to back pedal, looser...
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