#1085 Angry Food

I worry about us sometimes. I was listening to the radio the other day and they actually said the words “bleeding testicle.” It was on the occasion of third baseman Adrian Beltre taking a hit to the, um, boys of summer.
I suppose its okay to say testicle when one is rendering a clinical description of that area of impact. But still, in a ball game that also alludes to the whole dating progression of first, second, and third base, and all the way home, it’s a little much.
It has helped us on the racquetball court though. We don’t have to use the T-word any more. Now we say someone was smacked in the “Beltres.”
Adrian had said he didn’t like wearing a cup because they’re uncomfortable. I’m guessing he has a different definition of uncomfortable now. He’d probably be willing to wear a coffee cup down there to prevent this happening again.
Which is the image we first had as children. When my 6-year-old older brother was about to join a baseball team he said they told him he had to wear a cup. Not knowing what it was, we rushed to the kitchen to experiment. Afterwards, we just put the coffee cups back in the cupboard, so our mom wouldn’t be mad we were playing with them.
She’d have been angrier than a new Whopper.
Another mystery. Burger King has come out with a new burger and it’s called the Angry Whopper. Taco Bell had just come out with the Volcano Burrito and Nachos too.
I like Taco Bell’s name for hot stuff better. “Angry Whopper” sounds like our society is getting way too uncivil. Let’s not celebrate anger shall we? Things are crazy and tense enough in the world. Do we need to make our food have emotions too? Especially anger.
Worse, the name’s confusing, when I mentioned Angry Whopper to Morning DJ Bobby Hart, he thought I’d said the name of that guy that used to do weather on TV. Andy Wappler. Andy loved whipping out his Doppler readings. Andy Wappler and his handy Doppler.
Hmm. Sounds like an angry harassment suit waiting to happen.
America, ya gotta love it.