#1057 Back to Cool

Well here it is mid-July and summer is officially over. I just got my first back-to-school circular in the mail.
Yep. The Bed Bath & Beyond “Back to College” edition. And let me tell you, with Bed Bath & Beyond you won’t just be going back to school, you’ll be going back to cool.
How about an 11-piece matching bedclothes set, comforter, sheets, shams, pillows, towels, throw and hamper? All in lovely matching colors and patterns. In cramped-in-the-dormitory twin bed size too.
Wow. Things sure have changed since I went to college. If I’d showed up at my dorm with a matching set of sheets—much less comforter, sham, and throw—I’d have been hung by my heels from the freshman flagpole.
The only thing in this ensemble that would have been handy is the giant mesh laundry basket. Which apparently hasn’t changed. Page after page of this circular offers portable hamper ideas—mesh bags, retractable hampers, nylon bins on wheels. It proves one thing—college students are still going to store up massive amounts of laundry to take home when they visit the parents.
“Hi Mom, I’m home for the weekend. Here’s my laundry. I’ll be back after I spend all night visiting my old high school friends.”
And, man, the age of Ikea has hit Bed Bath & Beyond too. All the portable assemble-yourself shelving, hang-on-the-pole shoe and sweater organizers for your closet, clip to your box-spring bedside shelves for your alarm clock and iPod.
Dude! Whatever happened to orange crates?
They even offer laptop desks for your laptop computer. Little raised bed desks you can prop on your lap like breakfast bedtrays at fancy hotels. And they even measure the lap. “171/2 inches!” one of them proclaims.
Hey, you need room for all kinds of stuff while you’re “studying” in bed to prepare you for the real world. Learn those laziness skills early. They’ll come in handy in this great economy.
You’ll be beyond cool. You’ll be unemployed.
And no doubt your parents will appreciate your matching décor items when you come back to live with them...
America, ya gotta love it.