#1047 Rapscallion

People often ask me, Funny Guy, where do you get your mildly funny ideas? And I tell them, things are just twisted on the way in. My perceptual system is damaged somehow, probably as a result of my mom smoking “Kool, the Healthier Cigarette for your throat,” while I was a fetus.
It left me with the endless capacity to see things strangely. Unfortunately not in really funny, potentially profitable ways.
Like I hear an advertisement for a dog-walking place called the Huff and Puff park, and my first thought is, is it for smokers, or should it be called the Poop and Stoop?
I hear about the protest rally against David Letterman over the Sarah Palin flap. Then I hear that only 12 people actually showed up. My first thought—Yeah, and three of them were Rush Limbaugh.
Then I hear Conan is getting buried in the ratings as a result of Dave’s issue with Sarah. Conan is “Palin” by comparison, so he’s thinking of inviting her to a Dodgers game but hasn’t decided yet on the right tactless remark to get Todd riled up.
The other day I’m walking by this older guy telling a friend he was going to get one of those new “Kittles.”
“I think you mean Kindle,” I remarked.
“No,” he said, “I’m pretty sure it’s a kittle.”
“It’s a book thing,” I say, “It’s not dog food.”
“That’s Kibble,” he fires back.
“True enough,” I replied, “and your new reading device will use bits, but it’s still a Kindle.”
This is the same guy who tried to save money on a Blackberry, so he let some street vendor talk him into buying a Dingleberry. He thought the dingle meant it included a fancy ringtone.
He’s also one of those old codgers who calls whippersnappers rapscallions. Which is actually okay with me. I like the term rapscallion. It has an old English ring to it. The kind of thing you’re likely to hear in a play shouted out by someone wagging a cane at an artful dodger who’s just kicked a dog.
Rapscallion also sounds like some rare ingredient the Naked Chef would use on the food channel.
Thanks Mom.
America, ya gotta love it.