#1008 Incandescent Animals

We are so conflicted about animals. They help us, they hurts us. We retaliate when they ignite our fears, or we experiment on them to increase our years.
Like the new Korean puppies. According to the Associated Press, “South Korean scientists say they have engineered four beagles that glow red using cloning techniques that could help develop cures for human diseases.
The four dogs, all named Ruppy — a combination of the words "ruby" and "puppy" — look like typical beagles by daylight. But they glow red under ultraviolet light, and the dogs' nails and abdomens, which have thin skins, look red even to the naked eye.”
Dude... Glo-Puppies! I smell the next big Christmas Rage.
And is it pronounced Ruppy or Roopie? Because my friend Andy Clarke, who sent me the article, worries that the other regular beagles will laugh and call him names. And they won’t let poor Roopie play in all the beagle games.
The scientists say that creating glowing puppies isn’t cruel because the technique proves specific genes can be inserted, and that could help combat diseases.
Um, I’m not sure it would be good idea to clone me first to cure my eczema. My cloned self may be itch free. But I’d still be alive and scratching.
On the other end of the glowing spectrum the city of Spokane Parks department just bought a new tool in its desperate fight against the deadly scourge of the common ground squirrel.
It’s called the Rodenator.
It’s a device that pumps flammable gas into a rodent hole then ignites it with a spark. An entirely different type of glowing animal results.
A flaming explosive incendiary rodent ball of fire to be exact. Spokane officials say the squirrel dies instantly, so it’s humane.
Ever notice when we humans develop quick and efficient ways to kill animals we call it humane. The animals are going, “Yeah, and it’s no surprise you can’t spell humane without human.”
Bright ideas from the world of humans. Puppies cloned to glow and flaming balls of squirrels.
We got that humane stuff down good.
America, ya gotta love it.