#997 Fresh Baptism

The other day I heard a story on 94.5 Roxy and didn’t get all the details. So later that same day I went to my computer, clicked on my favorites link to 945roxy.com, and checked Bobby’s Blog to get the full skinny. I love technology.
Here’s what it said. “A Norwegian church was left no choice but to use lemon soda during a baptism. Reuters reports that because of freezing waters, taps were temporarily turned off this week in the region. So, during a baptism, priest Paal Dale improvised by dabbing lemon fizzing water on the baby. He told reporters the drink had gone flat so the only thing that made the liquid unusual for a baptism was its lemon scent.”
You want to wish everyone were as calm and adaptable as this preacher. Running out of holy water right before a scheduled baptism. Using lemon flavored sparkling water instead. But I really like that one part. It had gone flat, he said, and it was just water except for the slight lemon scent. Wait a minute, would it have been wrong if had still been carbonated? I don’t remember any biblical injunctions against carbonation.
What if John the Baptist had worked in the Perrier section of France? Mineral water should be okay, carbonation and all, especially if you allow lemon scent as an alternative.
And what a great idea. They say when you are baptized you are reborn. So you not only get a brand new soul, it’s lemony fresh too.
And think of the possibilities for commerce. Everybody likes to pamper themselves and feel nice. The bath, balm and scent industry is booming.
Baptism is basically just sanctified bathing.
And this was one of those sprinkling baptisms so they didn’t even involve the possibilities of full immersion. How about being soaked in a sacred cistern of soothing emollients? With herbal and citrus aromas wafting through the air like delicate doves. Nothing makes sense like scents for the spirit.
This could be the start of a whole new line of holy bath, baptism and body products.
Soothe your soul into the hereafter with Bed, Bath and Really Beyond...
America, ya gotta love it.