#990 Abused Authenticity

I received a circular in the mail. It’s for a product by the name of the Fender Road Worn Guitar.
I think it’s more of an advertisement for our culture than an advertisement for the guitar.
Let me share the ad copy: “There’s something special about a beautifully bruised guitar. The scars give it character and the worn neck feels so perfect. Like a pair of jeans that fit just right. Introducing the new Fender Road Worn series. Guitars that look like vintage classics, and feel like old friends.”
Where do I start?
Is our culture so vapid and lazy that we need someone to wear something out for us? I mean really. Acid washed jeans were pretty bad. Distressed leather coats were at least justifiable because new leather can be so stiff. But to buy a guitar that someone has worn out for you?
And this makes you a more legitimate musician?
Pretending to be from Aberdeen does not make you Kurt Cobain. Look, I have a coffee token from Duffy’s, and it smells just like teen spirit.
Where is the authenticity?
And really, do you remember the first ding you got in your first expensive electric guitar? It had nothing to do with being beautifully bruised. You were upset.
It’s like your first scratch in your first car. And your first car wasn’t “road worn,” it was used. And were you happy that someone else had spilled nameless glops of stain-making fluids on what was now your upholstery? No way. The sprung and beat-up seats in that old beater sucked.
The reason you like your old jeans is because you broke ‘em in yourself. You wore them the long miles. And your favorite busted down boots took you over many a trail, and on that trail, you made many a memory. Your only fond recollection wasn’t buying them at the Busted Down Boot store in the mall.
One line in the ad copy is so ironic. “The scars give it character.”
Sorry. Character can’t be bought. Character has to be lived.
Another line in the circular is even more poignant. It says, “Special Financing Available.”
Wow. I guess now we can borrow character too...
America, ya gotta love it.