#989 Butts and Bums

Two cultural forces have recently combined to create a new type of person. Evolution often drives the development of a certain species to occupy a niche, and also scavengers to exploit the trash and excrement of that niche occupier.
Mites live off skin flakes of indoor humans. Flies feast on flesh and feces of feral felines and kitties in cities. For the top of every food chain, there’s a bottom. It’s no coincidence human scavengers are often referred to by the name that also means bottom—Bum.
The two cultural forces that have created a new type of bum are forcing smokers outdoors—which has resulted in numerous overflowing outdoor ashtrays—and the price of cigarettes.
It is nearly impossible in these tight economic times to bum a whole cigarette. Cigarette taxes being used to pay for a host of social programs in need of tax revenue, any individual cigarette is way too expensive to give up.
So the cigarette scavengers prowl through outdoor ashtrays to find their carcinogenic carrion. Finding half and three-quarter smoked cigarettes and then smoking them all the way down, not giving up until the last puff captures the acrid taste of melting fiberglass from the filter.
This is the hacker hobo. Or perhaps a better word is butt bum. He has no concern for whatever disease the original smoker may have imparted to the cigarette leftovers in question. He is intent on the necessity of nicotine-ing his addiction.
And guess what? He’s pretty careless about it. Many is the morning when I have approached the outdoor smoking area of our building and seen it littered with cigarette butts smoked down to the nub. Not only do they root through the ashtray and pluck out butts, they then fail to return the butts to the ashtray.
How irresponsible.
What am I thinking? Of course! Responsibility is really not in the standard skill set of a hobo. Opportunism yes. Cleverness. An amazing ability to abide adversity and a formidable facility for ferreting out free stuff.
Responsibility, not so much.
But in our castaway culture, he’s found a niche.
And he’s scratching it.
America, ya gotta love it.