#797 X-Sense

The other day I was thumbing through a coupon catalogue for a hunting and fishing store.
I like the term “thumbing through.” It often refers to page turning. Yet I actually “finger through” a book or catalogue. Index finger on the top corner of the page, or at the very most a finger and thumb pinching sort of turn. I don’t remember ever exclusively using my thumb to turn a page.
Some of the outdoor products this place offered made no sense. One of them was this durable full-feature golf bag, with lots of pockets, back straps and extendable legs so it can stand on its own.
What’s a golf bag doing in an outdoor store that purports to specialize in hunting and fishing, you say? Maybe occasionally you have to combine hunting and golfing. Those pesky deer have been cropping a little too much of the golf course landscaping. The rough just isn’t as rough as it should be.
When you happen on a deer on the middle fairway, why, this bag’s just big enough to hold a different kind of iron. A shooting iron. Fire off that shot to the green and fire another one in the deer’s spleen.
That explains the other feature that first drew my eyes to this odd golf bag. It’s done in camo. That’s right, a camo golf bag. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why it would be necessary to have your golf bag blend into the scenery. Shooting through the deer hazard had to be the reason.
Then it occurred to me—early morning stealth golfing. Camo bags… Camo golf outfit...... No greens fees!
But I’m still wondering about this other product I saw in the catalogue. It’s called a sit-on-top style Kayak. Excuse me, isn’t that a canoe?
The picture shows this shallow plastic shell. No tight hole to wedge your body into. And no tight hole to hold you in when you hit the class four rapids.
I have a suggestion on how to use the 50 dollars the coupon saves you.
Buy a life vest.
America, ya gotta love it.