#790 X-Flabby

Cut, Ripped, Shredded. Sounds like a slaughterhouse doesn’t it? But this is cut without blood, shredded without pain, ripped without flayed ribbons of dangling gory skin.
These words are the new slang for a good look. This is muscular beauty. This is how young guys in dance clubs want to look¾so bad ass they use anal medicine to do it.
That’s right. It’s the newest dance craze and the newest drug craze in all the hip dance clubs. It’s in all the news—ABC, FOX, VH-1. It’s the emergence of a wholesome drug in a whole new off-label use. The popular pop-out drug? Preparation H.
That noble anal cream, minister to generation after generation of the rearly challenged. From truck drivers to peace officers, this cream has protected and served those in need of the relief of shrinkage.
But today’s’ kids have found a new use. Shrinking the skin over their chests and arms so they look more ripped. It started with body builders. They needed to look their leanest for the judges. But sometimes, try as they might, they might have a little bulge in the love handles, or an abdominal pooch.
Enter Preparation H. Apply to skin. Skin contracts, small site looks leaner. Enter crazed young bucks on way to dance cub. Slather mass quantities on chest and upper arms. Flabby dissolute lifestyle skin shrinks, girls more attracted, dancing and mating ensue.
Ah, true romance, thanks to hemorrhoid cream. Can’t wait to tell the kids how mom and dad met.
Preparation H, the first drug implicated with the first ‘roids, finally able to break away from the stigma of backside association that nearly wrecked ‘em.
Out of the dark alleys and into a bright new light of company non-condoned off-label usage. But hey, whose gonna turn down a little extra swelling profit.
I always thought the H should stand for headache and Preparation H would be a good name for a headache drug. A hemorrhoid drug should be called aspirin.
But in the final analysis, the H doesn’t have to stand for Hemorrhoid.
Now it stands for Hunk.
Of Burning Love baby...
America, ya gotta love it.