#781 Offbeat Head

I’d be the first to admit I’m not cut out to be a cult leader. I lack one major ingredient in my psychological makeup—the ability to tolerate people who would follow a cult leader.
Some people have lanolin or wool allergies. I’m just allergic to sheep.
In any event, one recent cult incident has finally come to a more or less peaceful, if not entirely un-bloody, end.
Seems there was this doomsday cult in Russia. The offbeat head of it was a certain Father Pyotr. Pyotr, I believe, is the Russian equivalent of Peter, meaning rock.
Or possibly it’s the Russian equivalent of someone named after a soured kitty litter box. Pee-odor.
The wise Father convinced his followers that the world was going to end and so they should hole up in a cave. A much better alternative than caving in a hole.
After six months, the last nine members of the cult emerged from the cave recently. Last November, thirty-five of them went into the hideout and threatened to blow themselves up if the authorities tried to get them out.
I always like it when people threaten to kill themselves one way if you try to save them from killing themselves another way. Like the local guy not long ago who threatened to shoot himself in the knee in an attempt to keep the police from arresting him. He was a lot easier to catch with a shot knee.
Most of the thirty-five left the doomsday hidey-hole last April, but the last holdouts didn’t give in until two of them died.
At least for those two the leader of the cult was right. It was certainly the end of the world for them.
The leader, meanwhile, was hospitalized after beating himself over the head with a wooden stick. Get this: It was a suicide attempt.
I guess it takes the tenacity of a cult leader to beat yourself to death with a stick. Or possibly the word I’m looking for is stupidity.
Still, he did convince others about the doomsday thing. Maybe charisma works better when it doesn’t include common sense.
America, ya gotta love it.