#788 X-amine

So I was at this open house for a new medical sleep center. It was impressive. It will specialize in diagnosing and treating sleep ailments; particularly insomnia, but also night horrors, night tremors, and restless leg syndrome.
No word about getting up in the middle of the night and having a bowl of ice cream because your gut is rumbling.
In any event, the place was pretty cool, every last bit of calming feng shui technology employed to make the place comfortable and restful. The treatment rooms themselves were perfectly tricked out bedrooms, except of course, they were wired up better than a Guantanamo Bay detention cell.
A physician explained to me that the rooms were meant to mock ordinary bedrooms. Surprise, the former hospital-like decorating approach of sleep centers created austere clinical conditions that weren’t conducive to slumber.
I imagine.
If it’s hard to sleep at home in your own bed, dozing off in a clinic on a high gurney with adjustable side bars would probably get you pretty wired.
Speaking of which, they do still put a lot of monitoring wires on you. The doc said the patients get used to having all the wires stuck to their scalps and body, but I don’t know.
When I’m insomniacal I can’t even stand a wrinkle on my sheet. And every itch feels like a tiny spider’s hunting dustmites on my skin.
I’m guessing wires and tape would be a challenge.
But I think what would bug me worse would be the cameras. Because part of the process is round the clock technicians observing you in your bedroom.
Now I don’t know about you, but my bedroom is like the most private area of my house. And frankly, I’m not sure what embarrassing things my body is doing while my consciousness is away in dreamland.
I mean, if you’ve ever watched a dreaming dog pumping its legs chasing a sandman rabbit, you know what I’m saying.
One interesting thing about this sleep disorder center. It’s inside a large medical clinic. And inside the building, directly across from the sleep center entrance, is a full blown espresso stand.
No patients please.
America, ya gotta love it.