#755 Infarction

I wrote recently about the tendency of fancy eating joints to plate their food in a “pile on presentation.” Starch on the bottom, then vegetable, entrée, sauce, and garnish.
Putting aside for a moment the notion that to pile on food invokes the concept of food as piles, it’s obvious the fancy-schmancy chefs had a mundane inspiration.
The common hamburger.
The hamburger was the original food pile. Starchy bun on the bottom, vegetile tomato and onion, then meat, special sauce and lettuce garnish. The hamburger food pile.
Well, Burger King has gone it one better. If by “better” you mean more calories, fat, salt, and artery-bursting ingredients. They call it the Steakhouse Burger and it’s “Loaded” variety weighs in at 970 calories.
These calories break down into 55 grams of fat, 22 of which is saturated, 2 grams of trans fat, 155 milligrams of cholesterol (bring your Lipitor through the drive-thru with you folks) 63 grams of carbs 46 grams of protein, and a whopping, blood pressure shooting, 2160 milligrams of sodium.
The nutritional information I got from the Burger King website doesn’t bother to give percentages of daily allowance for any of these components, but I’d be willing to bet if you were on a 950 calorie, weight-reducing diet this is your only meal of the day. And, bonus, two days worth of salt.
But it’s what the “Loaded” Steakhouse Burger is loaded with that’s so captivating. Oh sure, you got your A-1 Steak sauce, big thick meat patty, bun and cheese, and what looks in the picture to be lettuce and tomato. But in the loaded version, you also got bacon and something interesting—onion rings.
Sorry America, but onion rings do not count as a vegetable.
But on top of the onion rings is the coup-de-gras. That’s g-r-a-s, as in French fat. It’s mashed-potato topping—with real bacon and chives.
Mein Gott! This burger adds all the side dishes—onion rings and mashed potatoes—in the same accreted mass. Pile on food has reached a new pinnacle!
They deserve a plaque as thick as the stuff in your arteries...
America, ya gotta love it.