#581 Green Twisted Skittle

Looks and expectations can be deceiving. It doesn’t take much to change something from the ordinary to the mundane.
See, I just did it. With one little word, I changed a phrase into something that caught your attention. Your brain said, wait a minute—mundane and ordinary are the same thing!?!
I was mentioning to some woman the other day that she was stunning. She thanked me graciously and I followed it up by saying she was the type that turned heads. She smiled.
On a roll, I said, “Yeah, I’m the type that turns heads too, except with me it’s all the way around and then there’s, like, green vomit and stuff.”
That’s when I lost her. Her smile wilted quicker than lettuce in hot bacon grease.
It’s the rock and roller in me that seems intent on driving off the edge of the social cliff.
I like to take a little packet of Skittles when I’m going to parties on the off chance they’ll have an open bowl of M&Ms. Then I mix in the Skittles, walk away and watch for the first person to screw up his lips in alarm after cramming a bunch in his mouth.
If you keep the proportion low, people never catch on. It’s like getting a bad peanut in a handful of party nuts. You know the ones. Kind of powdery, with a little over-toasted metallic-y taste.
You aren’t sure if you crunched into a dry-roasted beetle or not.
Speaking of nuts, rock and roll, and looks being deceiving, isn’t it odd that the two most wholesome pop icons of the 80s ended up having the strangest lifestyles—Michael Jackson and George Michael.
Must be that Michael thing.
And I’m not talking about orientation, I’m talking about location. Neverland and public restrooms are not what mommy was thinking when she embraced “Wham” and pointed the finger of fear at Dee Snider and “Twisted Sister.”
The meanest-looking hair band guys actually turned out to be relatively decent human beings.
Maybe being a pop star drives you crazy.
Maybe it takes that rock and roll “we’re not gonna take it” stuff to exorcise your demons.
It turned my head.
America ya gotta love it