#514 Rodent Bowl

The other day we were at the pet store buying a ball you put a rodent in. I know, I know, only in America. I didn’t believe it, but then I hadn’t been in a pet store in ages. I suppose I should have expected, what with all the stewing dogs I always see in cute little sweaters and hats. The people sporting the elbow-crook canine fashion divas certainly don’t look like the petsy Simplicity type. So that means the pet-cessories had to come pre-made from somewhere.
You get a hamster ball in the hamster aisle. Which also has everything anyone could possibly think of, or need, regarding ADHD night-crawling rodents. There’s hamster tubes and hamster wheels and hamster litter box stuff, which seems to be made out of reprocessed paper pulp and not the old fashion sawdust or rough wood shavings. Probably too many pets from the first hamster rage of the fifties died with infected splinters in their hamster derrieres. Then there are a variety of hamster foods and medications, and even hamster suppositories. Which, fortunately, given Hollywood’s record of rodent relations, had no celebrity testimonials.
But anyhow, having never had a pet under the size of a medium dog survive, I was totally amazed at the material display of affection it was possible to acquire for one’s loving rodent. Especially considering all the materials arrayed on the other end of the spectrum to get rid of his rodentile cousins. The hamster ball is like a clear global hamster wheel. You put your rodent inside of it to keep it busy while you clean out your hamster cage.
And the cool thing is, they are perfectly sized for a quick game of hamster bowling. Hamster keeping you awake at night? Had a beer or six? Find a lawn, any lawn. Grab your hamster ball, fill with hamster, and call your hamster-owning friends. Get some plastic pins and have at it. Since the balls can be propelled by both you and the hamster, this is zany fun. And assuming he’s agile and not prone to dizziness, a well-trained pet will always pick up the spare. Everyone loves an agile rodent.
America, ya gotta love it