#490 Snarky and Such

I had an epiphany the other day. The biggest problem with epiphanies is cleaning up afterwards. All that personal revelation stuff is a real beast to sort out. But I still felt comfortable because my epiphany was that I had good friends to support me through all the weirdness in my life. Even my weird obsession with words. I love words and I love speculating about what I think they mean. When I first heard the term “astral projection”, I was convinced it had something to do with some kind of flatulence. Astral projection. Yep, still sounds like it. Or the other day a special lady in my life said she was giving me a ring. I was overwhelmed. Until I realized she meant she was giving me a special ringtone on her combo cellphone-PDA. PDA itself is confusing. Does it mean Personal Data Assistant or Public Display of Affection? Amazing how intertwined all our technical stuff is in our personal lives. And in a way I guess that with a ringtone that means just me, when I call her she is getting a public display of affection. As long as I don’t try to reach her by astral projection.
I was at an event the other day and a friend was telling someone else about this column. My friend went on and on about my snarky tone. Snarky. I really like that word. I had thought I was being ironic and a little bit supercilious from time to time, or at least super silly, but snarky? Snarky sounds like when I open my sneer-twisted lips, venom drips from my sharp teeth. Snarky...and here I thought I was being a curmudgeon.
Or an insufferable punster. My grandma used to cook with tongue. Once when she was frying some up in a pan, I asked her what she called a quiche with tongue in it. She shook her head with worry. A French quiche! I shouted. As she chased me out of the kitchen she said Spatula is a French word for tongue. They sting too. In this case I think spatula meant epiphany facilitator.
America, ya gotta love it