#402 Clue-Haul

So I chanced to use a U-Haul truck not too long ago. I’ll share a few things that might give you what I didn’t have—a clue. U-Haul uses the lowball, add-on approach to moving rental: Suck you in with a tiny price and then pile on enough accessories that you walk out feeling like your moving load has lightened considerably—notably in your pocketbook. First thing they do is make you wait in line in an area loaded with “necessary” moving accessories. Oh, you say, I could use a bundle of those. The “those” you’re looking at are boxes and the sign on them says $2.32, which seems pretty cheap, until a quick mental calculation reveals that 10 of them will run you about 25 bucks. Then there’s the professional mover’s plastic. That’s the stuff they wrap around appliances to keep the doors from opening and the lids from popping up. Also good for dresser drawers. Cause everyone knows flying dresser drawers can kill. Once you get to the counter, you wait more, as they take phone calls and wait for slowpoke customers to inspect their trucks before they take them out. Finally, you tell the clerk you want a no frills ten-foot truck—19.99. Sure, she says, gets a key, then scans your bankcard and bills you 100 bucks. “100 bucks?” You say. “Mileage estimate and miscellaneous,” she says. You look at the breakdown and sure enough, she’s estimated 34 bucks for mileage, at 69 cents a mile, and then tacked on an extra 50 for miscellaneous. She hands you a little inspection card while you’re still confused, tells you to go inspect your truck, which is just now pulling in to the pick up area. The sight of the truck finally within your grasp fogs your mind. You take the card and, having no idea what you’re inspecting for, and not asking because she’s on the phone again, you go out, look in the back, and then hurry back in and sign up. You drive off relieved. Later, while you’re moving you notice, hey, this truck has a hand truck. Then you see the hand truck has a zip-tie seal on its bracket and realize if you use it you lose it. 10 bucks that is. You leave it alone and lift more instead. The next day you return the truck, and as per agreement, you fill up it with gas. It was full when you got it. Actually, it was about three quarters full. When you fill it, the gauge goes an extra quarter inch past the “F.” No worries, you’ve been cautious on mileage, so you expect half the estimate to be returned. When you check in, the same gal looks over your truck. She lifts the rear door, reaches in, and easily pulls the zip-tie loose from the hand truck. She gives you this look like you tried to pull a fast one and fake her out by putting a broken one back in place. She nails you for 10 bucks. Of course you can’t complain, you inspected it before it went out right? Right. I guess this is what they mean by taking an adventure in moving. I just didn’t expect to take it up the miscellaneous.
America, ya gotta love it.