#368 Mumblings of Discontent

So I’m watching this documentary on Neil Young. Like most movies, it starts out with a rating thing. It says PG, parents strongly cautioned, some drug-related lyrics. I turn to my son and say “drug related lyrics” and he says, “drug related lyrics.” Actually both of us tried to say it. But neither one was very successful. It’s one of those sayings like “toy boat” that begs your subconscious to be mispronounced and are the bane of radio folk everywhere. In the old days responsible for wasting miles of tape as misspeak after misspeak fluttered to the editing room floor. Your mind is funny that way. It looks ahead to get itself ready for the next word and the lagging speech centers process garbled information. Or garbles the inputs or something. When I say “toy” my mind is already on “boat” and so my mouth gets a tinge of that and it comes out toe-y. In the case of “drug-related lyrics” the confusion of Ls and Rs are enough to drive an Asian to distraction. “Related” is a tough word all by itself, to then flip the L and R and have to say lyrics in rapid succession would make for a tricky field sobriety tests for the new secret police. Or perhaps a method to detect suspected drug related terrorists within easy commute of the secret CIA interrogation facilities. They say people whose original language was Arabic have a tough time with Rs and Ls too. “Torture terrorists” is another of those tongue twisters for me. Whether because the whole idea seems to put us in the same moral boat or because my tongue just can’t seem to wrap around that many Rs in one place. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for fighting fire with fire, I’m just not sure it should be by igniting bamboo under someone’s fingernails. One of the interrogation methods recently revealed that is not considered torture by the current powers that be is to make the interrogee think he’s drowning, put him in a bag, or tape up his mouth and give him the old full immersion baptism deal, then don’t let him come up till he mumbles uncle. Now if torture is defined by fear, it’s torture, but if torture is defined by physical damage, why, this one is a wonder. The only scarring is in his mind. And I’m guessing he won’t be crossing any oceans to get back at the good old USA any time soon. The dunking pool is, to risk another tongue twister, an interesting instrument of coercion. It’s last moment in the sun was in our country’s Salem days, when we had a much larger proportion of witches in the populace than at any time before or since. I believe that. Because it’s much more comforting to believe there actually were more witches than it is to believe that mass hysteria can sweep through a populace of otherwise rational and nice human beings and cause them to do acts of unspeakable horror. Like using blacksmith tongs to twist someone’s tongue out. Talk about unspeakable.
America, ya gotta love it.