#107 Truckin

I was driving down the road the other day and I noticed I was surrounded by trucks. And I noticed something after I noticed that. They are everywhere. It’s strange how when you finally tune in to something, that’s all you see. Like when the carmakers introduce some new color, like puce. All of sudden every third car seems to be puce. I’m coming to believe that life is less the capacity for noticing things then the capacity for ignoring things. There’s so damn much crap out there the only way to make it through is to screen out as much extraneous bull manure as possible. Or steer manure if you want greener lawns...
Anyhow, there are a lot of dang trucks on the road these days. And they’re big suckers. I’m thinking that whole “America” thing may just have to be revised. “Truckland” sums it up better. The funny thing is, just about every one of them has the cargo area empty. Or is that the box? Or the bed? It’s a box when it’s a long or a short box but it’s a bed when you put a fancy liner on it. If it’s a SUV-slash-truck hybrid adult transformer vehicle like the Chevy Avalanche, it’s a cargo box. Always a good idea to name a vehicle after a rolling, out of control mass that kills people. Something to live up to and all.
So what are we hauling America? What is it that propels us to drive a heavy vehicle that gets rotten gas mileage and poor rear-end traction cause its always half empty? Or is it half full? Is it not some cultural pride that makes us all flaunt our big manly trucks but instead a boundless sense of optimism that proclaims to everyone that I’m not half-empty, I’m half full? Or perhaps it’s a mute reaching out for companionship. Some 21st century mating ritual for the shotgun rider of your dreams. Please, fill me up, complete me. My cargo box is open—for you—and I’ve got a new bedliner, and if you like, I’ll put a decal of a cartoon guy peeing on something you hate, like Chevy’s or Fords or those Damn Yankees. Too bad the new trucks all have bucket seats—sacrificing snuggle-ablity for something much more important: Room for a cupholder.
So tell me this: Who invented the term dually? And more importantly, how is it spelled? I confess, coming from a sheltered all car upbringing, whenever I heard the word dually I just screened it out as something truck people said. I really didn’t have time in my life to add one more esoteric term to my vocabulary. So when I was finally challenged to, because this lady was directing me to find this guy and she said you’ll recognize his truck it’s the brown one with duallys, I was able to figure it out when I spied the vehicle and its double-wheeled rear end configuration. Better traction for pulling that fifth-wheeler I’m guessing. But how do you spell it? D-o-o-l-e-y, like Tom Dooley the legendary cowboy or D-u-a-l-l-y as in dual wheels. Or d-u-l-y as in, his license was duly revoked cause he got a dui cause they found ten empty cases in his cargo box after the tailgate party.
America, ya gotta love it.