#1165 Ad Hominy

Don't you think it’s about time for a big explosion of E-Country?
Country is always the last to come around to some things in fashion, and the longest to hold on to some things that should be forgotten. Billy Ray Cyrus had long hair way after the hippies. Unfortunately, he also had the world’s most persistent mullet.
Bellbottoms hit country long after they’d done the hustle away from disco. Actually good, since they looked so much better over boots in a line dance.
So I think we’re about due for a cultural shift in the direction of the internet for our fine country folks. I’d like to propose a couple of ideas.
First, we need a social networking site. I’m pretty sure macho country types are not going to be all that comfortable with “twitter.” Nor are pistol-packing paladins going to be happy sending one another a “tweet.”
So I propose a better name for the new country social networking site—“Tater.” And folks can send each other “tots.” Tater tots are the ultimate redneck comfort food so why shouldn’t they also provide the ultimate country network social grease.
We could send each other a “tot” and bring the kinfolk up to date on our latest truck purchase. Whether Ford will still be putting out a model with duellies. Or one with a tailgate BBQ hookup. Heck, we can even remind each other when happy hour is.
The other thing we need is a dating site specifically for country folks. So I suggest we steer clear of e-Harmony and instead head on over to e-Hominy dot com.
E-Hominy is perfect, as we all know country dating has lots of ups and downs and dogs dieing and trucks being stolen and what not. “E-Hominy, cuz dating takes grits.”
And when we go to “Tater” we can “tot” each other about the sweet gal we met on e-Hominy and how she’s got us all corn-fused inside with mushy feelings and stuff.
And when we start dating someone, the head of e-Hominy, Ty Cobb, will send us a letter of corn-gratulations.
And then, sounding like an embarrassed strong and silent cowpoke, we’ll send him back a “tot” that says, “aw shucks...”
America, ya’ll gotta love it.