Thursday, December 11, 2008

#909 Techno-fogie

Some things change, some things stay the same. And the thing that seems to stay the same is human nature. You can put lipstick on a pig but you can’t cast pearls before it, or something like that.
We complain about the cellphone these days and it’s misdirected. Cellphones aren’t rude to people, people are rude to people.
I envision some person in the old west driving his wagon in the wagon train and annoying the holy hell out of the person behind him. Getting stuck in sand and holding up the train because he was talking to his wife in the back of the wagon on two empty cans and a string and failing to see what’s ahead of him on the road.
Flash forward a century and a half and that guy’s descendent is chatting merrily on her cellphone while she cuts you off in the fast lane.
I know I sound like a crotchety old techno-fogie but sometimes I think technological improvements just make it easier for us to be nasty to each other.
Junkmail stuffed mailboxes led to a spam-choked inmail boxes. And aside from the occasional anthrax terrorist, we never had to worry about getting a virus from opening regular snail-mail.
And I never had to worry about a company screwing me by making me buy something only to lose it if I didn’t use it. I could buy food in the amount I needed. I could buy power and gas as I used them. I didn’t buy a block of power and then lose what I don’t use at the end of a month.
That’s why I bought rollover minutes on my cellphone. I couldn’t bear the notion of buying minutes I’d never use. But now I have a huge backlog of rollover minutes. And they’re starting to expire.
So how about a way to sell your minutes on ebay? They’re working on a carbon credits system for carbon users and abusers. How about a “minute” credit system?
I could sell my unused rollovers to the highest bidder who’s really desperate for them, like that lipsticked roadhog holding up traffic.
America, ya gotta love it.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

After following your show for many years and finally losing track of it I found myself looking for you again. You never dissapoint. Although it's your comedy I enjoy so much your words of wisdom could never be any truer. Keep up the good work. BTW: your vasesectomy blues has come in handy in the past few years as I have sung it to many.

Cheers!

J. Schmitt

Funny Guy on the Prowl said...

I'm glad you finally rolled over this rock. And happy I can still offer an occasional chuckle.
(Dude, "vasectomy blues" goes way back... I feel old...and sterile)
Thanks for your comments,
-jerry