Chances are you bug people. You
even bug the whole territory around you. Turns out your microbiome, as
scientists call it, extends a lot further than anyone ever thought. It can take
over a room.
Science has recently begun to
concentrate on the microbiome, the study of all the tiny bacteria we carry
around with us and the role that horde plays in our health and well-being.
Gut bacteria have been found to
contribute significantly to a person's health, both in food digestion and
fighting off other bacteria that cause sickness. Wide-spectrum antibiotics
often do more harm than good, because they kill off the beneficial bugs in our
system.
What surprised researchers recently
was how we carry our bugs with us on vacation too. And distribute them in rooms
we inhabit. They determined that when you stay in a hotel room, you needn't
worry about the icky germs the previous resident left behind. Within 24 hours
your own bacteria will have taken the room over. Check-in day is bacterial
D-Day in the war to conquer a room.
Sneezing, coughing, and passing gas
are like your personal bug spray.
Scientists think police will be
very interested in this, since a person's microbiome is intensely individual. A
bacterial signature that's more identifiable than a fingerprint. Kind of a germ
selfie.
A CSI guy could go into a room
where a crime was committed and sniff out the perp's bug I.D. in no time.
They'd better hurry. You'd have to be careful the police don't infect the room
as soon as they enter. Or the maid that discovers the body.
I see lots of legal wiggle room. If
the bug don't fit, you must acquit.
Question: If the microbiome
originates in the colon, does that mean they colon-ize the room?
America, ya gotta love it.
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