Flu season is in full swing and
folks around me are dropping like flies left and right. I wonder if the Center
for Disease Control has figured all the factors in these annual outbreaks.
Tradition has it that the reason
the flu sets in so strong in late January is that we all spend more time
indoors with other infected people. The Christmas holidays in particular are
lovely virus swapping opportunities. Better yet, opportunities to swap viruses
with your close genetic kin. So the viruses, once adapted, don't to have to do
too much work to jump from host to host.
When we do go to other gatherings
we take a full packet of phlegm particles with us, ready to spray on our
innocent party host's household surfaces, and from there to other guests
sharing the same toilet flush lever, faucet handle, and guest towel in the
bathroom.
Deck the halls with balls of flu
phlegm.
Then it's time to get on a plane
and visit distant relatives, you and a large group of others sharing the same
small breathing space to transport your now combined stowaway viruses across
country.
That's the traditional view. I have
another suggestion. The reason the flu season peaks in January is the same
reason health clubs capacity peaks in January. We are full of sugar and fat.
Think about it. If you were a
virus, which body would you prefer to invade, a stringy old vegetarian or a fat
sweet bacon-crusted donut of a human being?
The donut person of course,
bloodstream brimming with vital viral victuals. Sugar and fat ---who could ask
for anything more? Free-floating in the bloodstream sugar too. And countless
cells saturated with the results of Christmas goodie gobbling.
Want to attract the flu? Have
another chunk of fudge...
America, ya gotta love it.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment