1967 Swell Smell

Smell is important. Recently I've been pseudo-smelling things. And for the life of me I can't see why. Or smell why. I guess I'm hallucinating the smells. Is there a word for that? Naso-illusion? Olfacto-fantasy?
I worry that I may have a brain tumor of some sort. Why should I suddenly smell damp wood wherever I go? I know I live in Washington State, but everywhere? Like every building I go into has a hidden leak in the ceiling or under the sink.
The other odor I fanto-smell is lemon grass. Like the smell in a Vietnamese restaurant. Not pleasant to feel like there's a pho' place around every corner. Especially one with a leaking roof.
Speaking of bad smelling, I'm convinced it's responsible for the malady that led to the Viagra industry. I think occasional masculine dysfunction is due to the gradual loss of your sense of smell. It makes sense. We lose our eyesight as we age. We lose our hearing. Why not a gradual diminishing of our sense of smell as well?
Your sense of smell is intimately linked with your sense of intimacy. Olfactory bulbs picking up pheromones from the opposite sex. And when older men date older women, the women are also emitting fewer pheromones. As any electronic engineer knows, bad pickup and bad sending unit leads to a bad connection. It's also responsible for old men doing dumb things with girls in their 20s. Young pheromones are powerful enough to burst through. Like the swelling high volume of a rock record able to penetrate bad hearing.
Next question, how to help? Eyesight has eyeglasses. Hearing loss has hearing aids. How do we smell better? Mini-vacuums on our nostrils?
"What's with the nose, Fred?"
"Viagra got too expensive. These are my Naso-Orecks..."
America, ya gotta love it.