1695 Crime and Punishment

Read some interesting facts and figures lately. A recent poll found that 56% of Americans would vote out every single member of the House and Senate if they could. Wow. That's an amazing testimony to the resilience of the stability of our nation. 56% don't like our government and yet we still go about our daily lives.
I'm thinking surfing internet porn has its downside after all.
The poll went on to say 55% of liberals, 55% of moderates (which Rush Limbaugh calls liberals) and 58% of conservatives say they want all members of congress gone. Apparently that means the current Tea Party contingent in congress included. 58% of conservatives disapprove of them.
Tea Parties are like that. Clean plates! Clean cups!
Finally, 80% of all Americans disapprove of the job congress is doing.
Yahoo! Bi-partisanship at last!
Who says congress isn’t a way of bringing people together?
Speaking of people together, the prison system is getting alarmed. Turns out the number of men and women over age 65 increased by 63% between 2007 and 2010.
That means a huge problem for the prisons. They're not just dealing with guarding criminals, they're dealing with something far more scary—geriatric care. The price of Depends alone has busted budgets.
Because how many criminal types had the foresight to invest in long-term care insurance before they were incarcerated? And does a jail qualify as an insurance-approved care facility anyhow?
Maybe that accounts for the upswing in elder crime. Have you priced an assisted care facility lately? Much cheaper to commit some felony likely to get you 20 to life.
Hmmm. I understand America is looking to remove some congresspeople. Maybe a little felonious elder-extortion will do the trick...
"If you don't leave congress I'll pass gas on you and tell you boring repetitive stories till you scream for mercy..."
America ya gotta love it.