1560 Be Mime Tonight

I was having coffee with a friend recently at a local coffee bar and chanced to chat with the barista about his employment goals. He seemed competent in his job and all, perfectly capable of pouring a leaf-like pattern into the latte foam, but a little unhappy nonetheless.
Perhaps aspiring to perfect foam art was not opening up a believable future vision of leisurely retirement in the southland.
In any event, he was performing his baristing somewhat silently so I suggested he consider the possibility of becoming a mime. I would think a barista mime would do well, covering any number of street opportunities.
He'd still be able to wake up relatively late. And except for the obligatory white face, white gloves, black t-shirt and suspenders, continue to be able to dress in that inimitable thrift store casual style.
And really, baristas have developed many stylized hand gestures that'd only be enhanced by white gloveitude.
The problem, of course, would be what to name them. Looking down the road to résumé creation, it's not an unimportant concern. I'm already uncomfortable referring to male coffee chefs with the feminine sounding "barista." Like calling Rudolph Nureyev a ballerina.
Perhaps by working in the "mime" appellation we can come up with something. A Marista perhaps, or a Maristo? Sounds a little like a magician too, doesn’t it? "And now ladies and gentlemen, Maristo the Magnificent."
There's the little longer Mime-rista. But that sounds like a mime who specializes in hand gestures. Great wrist action on the Mime-rista.
There's Bar-ime. No...sounds like some sort of rap term. "Yo, my man busted a barime allova yo peep head."
I think I'm leaning to the simple. How about bime? Direct. Straightforward. Look clean on that resume.
1990 to 2009 — Full Time Bime.
America, ya gotta love it.