1544 Close Shave

It's rare that I get the opportunity to make a pun using exactly the same words as the thing I'm punning about but here it is. The latest in cutting-edge technology is actually the latest in cutting-edge technology.
Yep. It's an amazing new razor blade. It's called the Zafirro Iridium and it features solid white sapphire blades that are sharpened to 5,000 times thinner than the width of a hair. It will supposedly last forever.
Talk about cutting-edge technology.
5,000 times thinner than the width of a hair. Just the blade for the discriminating man. You wouldn't just split hairs. This sucker could split hairs on angels on the head of a pin.
Isn't iridium that rare element associated with meteors crashing into earth? The iridium layer is what supposedly proves dinosaurs were wiped out when a giant meteor hit the Yucatan region at the cretaceous/tertiary extinction event back 65 million years ago.
That was back when the dinosaurs didn't last forever.
Forever is a very long time. A long time to be making a guarantee. Then again, if humans get wiped out, who's gonna be around to insist on the guarantee anyhow.
"Um, my grandfather to the 100th power bought this in the early 21st Century and it's getting kinda dull."
Good news is there won't be a long line slowing you down on your way to purchase this fine product. It comes in at price tag of $100,000. That's even more than the $6,400 toilet I most recently thought plumbed the depths of decadent excess.
But what price a close shave? Sure, you could buy a 101,010 99cent Bics which would last you 276 years, but hey.
What with inflation and all, by “forever” the Iridium would be virtually free.
America, ya gotta love it.