1401 Grope On

We all know times have gotten tough for the lower 90% of our populace. So it’s nice we’re pulling together in the social acceptance department. No longer looking down our noses at those not dressed in the trendiest jeans. Tolerant of those just drinking ordinary coffee. And far more forgiving when it comes the use of coupons.
In fact, a recent study concluded that in 2009 American Shoppers used 27 percent more in-store coupons than in 2008. The use of online coupons jumped 360 percent. And here’s the real kicker—41 percent of Americans now believe it’s okay to use a coupon to help pay the tab on a first date.
Wow.
A first date coupon. What does that show your potential mate? Will she think you’re thrifty, or you’re cheap? You’re an anal-retentive coupon clipper? Or one discount short of destitute. And do you as the coupon user mean to imply your companion is a cheap date? Are you using a group-on and hoping it’s a grope-on. A discount ticket to the land of heavy petting.
That, by the way, may be why online coupon use went up 360 percent. Giant discount offers like groupon. $3 for a $20 bottle of wine is hard to pass up, even if you don’t drink. Or maybe more online sellers are more desperate to sell so are offering coupons for the first time.
But I worry about the college set. Is some Nietzsche studying nihilistic nerd really going to impress his history major date using a coupon? Is she going to think it’s not for nothing he’s into nihilism. He won’t impress her with his tortured soul. He’s not a cool superman, he’s an dorky super-savings man.
Is she going to think, not ubermensch but goobermensch?
America, ya gotta love it.