1349 Sim-i-luck

So did you ever wonder? What happened to Oral-A? We hear a lot about the Oral-B toothbrush, but I never remember hearing about Oral-A. And I’ve seen a ton of different Oral-Bs, so I don’t think we’re going to be hearing from Oral-C any time soon.
But it still makes you wonder. We get used to products improving with time and getting different higher designations. Windows 95, 98, and, um, 7. Oh sure, we get an occasional Millennium debacle but things usually get better.
So one would assume an Oral-A existed. And for some reason was scrapped. An industrial accident perhaps. The plastic chemistry messed up so they had millions of toothbrushes breaking into shards in unsuspecting cheeks. Or brushes contaminated with salmonella, or possibly rat hairs. Yum, nothing like a vigorous gum massage with rat hair.
It could happen. Look at poor Similac. Talk about a lack of sim-i-luck. Having to recall millions of portions of baby formula because they’re contaminated with beetles and beetle larvae. (Glad the contamination process caught the beetles in the middle of their reproductive cycle.)
But hey, why the panic? Babies will eat anything. They crawl over some pretty messy territory and they’re always putting stuff in their mouths. I’m sure they’ve ingested more than one beetle leg.
Besides, insect eating has a long and storied tradition. Lots of cultures eat crickets and grasshoppers and beetles. And you don’t want to miss a big plate of African grubworm larvae.
Yum...just like gnocchi.
And when was the last time you compared the anatomical similarities of a lobster and a cockroach? We eat insects of the sea on a regular basis¾crabs, shrimp, lobster.
So don’t recall, re-label.
How about Similac of the Sea?
America, ya gotta love it.