1298 Mullet

So I was reading this news article the other day. Seems Iran is not content to just call us the Great Satan and build secret nuclear bombs and stuff. Now they are taking issue with our hairstyles.
They recently banned “decadent Western haircuts” for men. They included in that category “spiky hair, ponytails and mullets.” For once, I find myself in agreement with them. I don’t know what a mullet looks like on your average Iranian, but its no “business in the front party in the back” on most westerners I know either.
Thank you Iranian anti-mullet mullahs, but it is a shame you perceive mullets as part of the same style continuum as spiky hair and ponytails. I guess you haven’t been to a county fair recently.
But the whole thing made me think again of the BP oil spill and the effort to use nylon bags stuffed with hair to absorb it. What if some of those nylons were stuffed with shorn mullets? Isn’t there also a fish called a mullet? And isn’t it found worldwide in warmer coastal waters?
I sense the potential for confusion. Especially in areas where they actually cook and eat mullet and make things like dirt pies to keep their hungry bellies less painful. A mullet hair bag may seem like easy prey.
At the very least as a great ready-made fuel source. Like a charcoal briquette, but large. One oil-soaked hairbag per hibachi.
So I wonder if they’ll be using mullets the hairbag to cook mullet the fish. I’m guessing not only would Iranians ban it; mullets cooking mullets wouldn’t be kosher either.
I asked a rabbi what he thought. He said it was a tangled moral issue, and he’d have to mull it over.
America, ya gotta love it